To eat or not to eat.......this is a highly controversial question which I ask myself constantly. Particularly as I stare down the barrel of my vanilla ice-cream tub.
I have struggled with this question while eating many delicious sweets post - par tum.
Sometimes I wonder how I managed to gain twenty kilos during my pregnancy.
Initially, from the beginning of my pregnancy I was determined to only eat healthy food. I figured that eating well had so far been my life long mantra so, why not ice my self congratulatory cake by excelling at eating well during this time too.
For the first trimester I did really well. Eating, fresh fruit and vegetables mostly from my garden with the occasional treat. At this point I didn't feel like I was overindulging until I hit the second trimester. All of a sudden I became a human eating machine.
I continued eating a well balanced diet but also included in my food pyramid copious amounts of teddy bear biscuits, vanilla thick shakes and cinnamon donuts.
I kept saying to myself "Your not eating for two you know". Somehow I managed to eat for four.
I was recently talking to a friend who also eats well and had just given birth two months ago. She shared the same sentiment and was concerned about her recent pregnancy weight gain.
It got me thinking. "Is this something women were really concerned about or, was this because this is something we were socially pressured into?
All I know is that it doesn't help to see women like, Victoria Beckham, Amanda Kerr, Angelina Jolie and Princess Mary toted as the epitome of Mothers. Not to mention, how the media carry on about how amazing they look after weeks of giving birth.
I fell into the trap of expecting to feel and see my old figure return shortly after I gave birth. Therefore, I placed unnecessary and unrealistic pressure on myself to attempt boot camp only six weeks after giving birth. In retrospect I think I was going through a very self - destructive phase. All this did was set myself up for a terrible fall.
Each time I failed to achieve my weight loss goals I found myself baking. I think I would go into a sugar blackout, to achieve a catharsis.This seem to console me.
Also, every time a health professional or well meaning friend would tell me that breast feeding would help me loose weight. Not me, not one gram!! Apparently my boobs are broken and would only steer me back to my kitchen to bake instead.
So, I had to ask myself "who am I trying to impress?? If it is my Husband than I should know, he will always love my arse no matter what it looks like. One thing he cares about and that is he has access to all areas and won't reject me if I have a little spare tire around my waist after I've given birth to our baby.
So, the conclusion I have come to is that if it's not our partners who place these expectations on us than, maybe its us. Personally I can understand that because I have high standards but, at what expense? To the point where I loathe my image in the mirror? Beat myself up for not looking like an enigma?
If you have a daughter like I, is this how you want her to see you or perhaps to adopt your insecure body image self destructiveness?
The best thing I think we can do is throw out any diet, turn a blind eye to celebrity gossip, don't get tempted by the Swivell Pro or Light and easy. After all, your a mother, The most important person in someones life who loves you unconditionally for who you are.
Shouldn't that be enough? So take a look in the mirror now and see how beautiful you really are.
